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When the world is pure and blue and quiet…

The world as I once knew it has shifted, it is undeniable the change and it is unavoidable the changes that it has made on me as a person.

Batukaras has been a whirlwind for the two months that I’ve already been home. There have been ups and downs, there have been tears and laughter and joy and moments of confusion and long stretches of unknowing.

When there is no surf at our local break we take the motorbikes and we find swell somewhere else. We surf on a long stretch of beach, just the two of us, alone, quiet, sun kissed and serene. Where the world seems pure and perfect and blue… When you sit on your board waiting for a set there is nothing but a sapphire sea and a stormy sky which meet in a dark blue line at the horizon. Behind you is a stretch of brown sand lined with endless coconut palms and nothingness. The only building is an old tsunami tower that hasn’t been used since the last big tsunami hit four and a half years ago.

On other days, if the wind isn’t right at this spot we head in the other direction up and over the mountain road, through potholes that threaten to be the end of us as they were to our surfboard rack one day when the endless up and down snapped the metal clean in half. We drive through a few little villages and the seemingly eternally green rice fields until we reach the ocean again, further west down the coast. Here it’s a reef break, a much more serious wave than the point or the local reef, it breaks in sections and is often rough and big and windy. But even here, we surf alone. Navigating the rocks and feeling them scratch at the soft pink bottoms of my feet as I juggle my board awkwardly and launch from the rocks into the incoming white wash.

It was scary the first time I surfed here in January, the wind was up and even though I’m goofy I can never seem to go left effectively. The waves were big enough to instill a renewed respect for the ocean and my little pink board was tossed in one direction and the other as I tried to paddle for waves that would close out and pound me into the reef below if I wasn’t careful. I’m not young enough to feel invincible and not old enough to not care – so I’m always careful… mostly.

But the first time I felt the wind in my hair as I surfed down the face of a wave at this break, was enough to get me hooked. It was harder, so the reward is greater. I was grumpy and frustrated and disheartened and then it clicked and I got on the right wave and the takeoff was perfect and for those few seconds until I flicked off the wave before it closed out near the next section… it was as if I was flying.

The ocean demands your respect. Essentially you are sitting like a piece of driftwood in the hot blinding sun, at its mercy.

There were friends who came to visit, bringing us life and light and laughter. There were old foes dragging us through muddy waters. There was a change of home, a separation, a feeling of loss and the excitement of something new.

Two months is a long time since I’ve written. I’ve been trying to adjust, to feel my way around these place with new eyes. I am no longer just a traveler, I’m no longer a temporary guest but its more real coming back here after Christmas at home… and in many ways its much scarier.

Commitment is always scary, leaving your comfort is terrifying… but isn’t that what we are all in this for? To feel alive… To truly feel alive. And even though I’m not always happy, I’m not always satisfied and I’m often trapped in a whirlwind of frustration, I can’t deny, I feel alive.

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2 Responses to “When the world is pure and blue and quiet…”
  1. Chocodol says:

    Blog Walking – Link Exchange?? Add my blog and I will add you back

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