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A crisis. Of faith.

the lotus

I’m having a crisis of faith.

And I can’t help but wonder, can you have a crisis of faith if you didn’t have a Faith to begin with? And if not, then what do you call it?

My head is swimming with a thousand words and thoughts and indecision, of power, of sadness, of loss. There is something I can’t put my finger on, something that has been lost… something that needs to be found. But if you don’t know what you are looking for… how do you even start?

I eat alone. I sleep alone. I walk the streets alone. Maybe its too much thinking. That would make sense. I want to just turn into the dust that is mottled on the bumpy streets in Saigon and go wherever the wind takes me… I’ve given up precious moments with friends and family to travel the world, but sometimes I wonder why. And then other times I wouldnt be anywhere else. I’m sure every solo traveller feels this way at one stage or another. Do you? 

Barefoot and lost in both thought and translation.

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Comments
One Response to “A crisis. Of faith.”
  1. Jonathan Hall says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I left home to travel on my own 17 years ago. I’m still going.

    When you are certain in your travelling you can become blinded to the random signs and signals that can direct you in a direction that maybe you didn’t think of going in before. If you know where you are going and you know what you are doing, then you are less open to new ideas and more likely to miss out on those serendipitous moments that can never be planned.

    If you feel like blowing with the wind, go with it. You never know where you will land. My bet is that you will always end up where you should.

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