I do live in Paradise and any bitching or moaning I do will sound like, well, bitching and moaning. I don’t have to deal with a lot of the things that you (out there in the real world) do. I don’t have bills or traffic jams, I don’t have financial stress or a job to get up for. I don’t have to even wash my own clothes anymore. I get to sleep as late as I like, eat when I like, work when I like (doing something that I love), there is never traffic, there are never bills, there are never any real day-to-day stresses at all.
So what I’m about to say might make you want to punch me just a little bit…
Yesterday wasn’t the best day for me. It was one of those days that nothing ever goes as planned and you feel the sharp sting of dissappointment in the corners of your eyes… but your right, it’s true, at least I didn’t have to go to work.
Because I’m very aware of how lucky I am living in Paradise, I actively try to take stock in the little victories that save the day. I was having a crappy day. My head is all over the place with this new project I’m working on and it really does mess with my general life equilibrium. I was going around in circles and finding no way out.
But… small victories make for another great day.
The first was very small, I ate an entire meal – Indo style, with my hands without spilling any food on the floor, my lap, my shirt or the table. I’m becoming quite a pro – and I think I’m starting to look a little less rediculous too. Victory number one? Check.
Victory number two was a bigger one – but because of it’s norm over here, it’s still definately counted as a small one. I rode over the bamboo bridge on my own for the first time.
When I first moved here, we had an accident on the bridge – I avoided writing about it because it would give my vertically challenged mother a heart attack… Now I think it’s far enough in the past that we can work through this one. The bamboo was old and the bridge really needed to be repaired, and a small stick got caught in the spokes of our front tire. And we fell, bike on top of us, in the middle of the bridge. It was a little awkward. The bridge that I’m talking about is strung across the Green River, it is extremely narrow and it is suspended in the air between two concrete posts on either side. It so narrow and precarious that only one motorbike is allowed to cross it at a time.
The bridge acts as a substantial shortcut between Batu Karas and Cijulang, shortening the journey by about 10 minutes. Which in a 15 minute journey – is a fair amount. And it is very beautiful. And terrifying. So after the crash, I decided that I would not drive over the bridge until I was ready (if ever). I’d just take the long way, which is a pretty spectacular drive on a bumpy road through little housing clusters, rice fields and dense jungle.
But yesterday, I was running late to meet a friend for lunch, an hour late. Which is incredibly unlike me, and I was feeling less than great about the whole thing… And suffice to say, I wasn’t in a great mood. The good thing about me in a bad mood is that I am unable to feal fear. So, I just rode up to the bridge and rode straight across it. No fear.
I wanted to give myself a high five on the otherside, but realised that might damage my super cool reputation (not). So I didn’t. But doing something that I’d been scared of certainly put me back on track enough to enjoy lunch. Now I’m not scared of it anymore. I’ll ride over it with all my shopping from the markets, with someone on the back, with a travel bag, no, with three travel bags, I’d even do it with fourteen chickens, if the need should arise. And then I’ll take them home, pluck them, cook them, eat them with my hands whilst wearing white – without making any mess.
I am barefoot, here me roar.